There was once in the past (when I was someone else) where my teacher told me that "Jo is a good buddy, he just intentionally shows his bad boy side all the times"
I think it is true. So often I find myself caught in a situation where opportunities of friendship and life joy present themselves, but I push them away, shun them under the notion (logically processed "foods") that they shun me anyway. Why should i learn to gravitate to their direction instead they to my direction? If compromise is the value, why should i gravitate there by exerting more effort?
The right and the fun are two mutually exclusive choice it seems.
Yin and yang tells me that life is right when i strike an equilibrium. in economics it s the precise price of goods where producers enjoy benefits, consumers enjoy proportional price and competition is protected and encouraged.
Damn, it s hard to strike such an equilibrium.
Perhaps I need to make a choice soon.. Humans are limited, i cant be the best at everything... Oh, that s crap.. I can even argue along that line much better than anyone else. It s the loser's argument...
sigh... I am completely aware of the consequences of choosing this path of life. or am i innately characterized this way? nobody can answer that, worst, nobody gives a damn about it...
Maybe one day we will all be able to achieve that state of equilibrium when we can sit down and feel content with whatever we have while still aggressively and passionately pursue the truth and the ultimate wisdom.
One thing I would really like to inquire Sidharta Gautama is "How can humans achieve equilibrium when inequilibrium is required to support equilibrium? Are u saying some humans must be sacrificed so that some can achieve enlightenment?"
You dont just sit up there or around us. You come down here and tell me.. explain to me... engross me in it...
I need answers.. in whatever form...
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